You have been working like a dog, assuming there is a breed of dog that sits around all day barking, “Which is better?” With spring upon us, I know all of you are Googling “vacation ideas” instead of logging your electronic health record notes from the past month. 

My secret posse of analysts has been watching you for years and we have compiled a few lists of the most common ways optometrists spend their leisure time. I’ll admit, I was surprised by what we found. 

Most popular destinations for a summer vacation:

  1. Any hotel where there is CE. This allows the OD to write off the trip and not have to spend any time with the griping kids since they “have to get my hours.”
  2. The Mittendorf Dot Hall of Fame just outside Poughkeepsie, New York. The most common comment overheard there is “Dang! That’s huge!” The second most common is “Mom! Can we leave?”
  3. The office. It can be quite exhilarating to go through that dusty box of contact lenses you were supposed to return for credit in 2006.
  4. The local ophthalmologist’s office. It’s a great way to get a free exam and stuff your pockets with samples of prescription eye drops the sales reps never bring to you
  5. Wild boar hunting from a helicopter. This surprised me too. 

Most popular vacation sports:

  1. Fixing the toilet in the basement. Fun for the whole family.
  2. Long distance running from the car to McDonalds.
  3. Looking at golf clubs online. Maybe next year you will play more.
  4. Weight lifting. Wait, I misread that… gin and tonic lifting.
  5. Speed purging your 20,000 unread emails. 

Most popular poolside web searches:

  1. How much do you charge for contact lenses?
  2. Why do hyperopes lie like dogs?
  3. Who was that guy that was only in one James Bond movie?
  4. Are there more optometry schools than pigeons?
  5. How do I delete recent web searches from my phone?

Most popular summer books:

  1. “Valley of the No Shows.” 
  2. “Lord of the Weiss Ring.”
  3. “War and I Think I Have a Piece of Contact Lens in My Eye.”
  4. “The Adventures of Huckleberry Schlemm’s Canal.”
  5. “Harry Trantas Dotter.”

Most popular names for new boats:

  1. “Seeworthy.”
  2. “Vitreous Floater.”
  3. “450 Nanometers.”
  4. “FZBDE.”
  5. “I Am For Sale Already.”

Most popular items on every optometrist’s “bucket list”:

  1. One day that family of four will all show up for their Saturday appointments.
  2. They will invent a daily contact lens material that will turn into 50% atropine after 16 hours of lens wear.
  3. At least one patient per career will respond to a texted appointment reminder.
  4. No one will ever call on Sunday afternoon and begin the message with “Last Wednesday…”
  5. Everyone in the world will come together in peace and harmony and call my office for an appointment—and actually show up.

Have a great Summer!