Why does one soldier cower while the guy beside him rushes in to save his comrades? Its courage. But what is courage? A Medal of Honor winner spoke at my church one time, and he said it like this:

People ask me how I could be so brave as to jump out of that foxhole and charge the enemy single-handed to save my buddies. Heres the truth: I wasnt brave. I was scared to death, just like everybody else. I just pretended to be brave.

Maybe thats what you need to do next time the bad guys get the high ground. There is no difference between ACTING brave and BEING brave. So, face your fears! Here are the seven scariest issues facing optometry today. (Dont run! Are you a doctor or a mouse?)

1. Women optometrists. Not because they work at the Cheap Glasses and LASIK For Beginners Placeevery O.D. I see at the Cheap Glasses and LASIK For Beginners Place is a manbut because women O.D.s actually give a darn about what the patient in the chair is saying. Remember when you spent as much time on that as you did figuring out what code to use? Get in gear, Dr. Dude, because the ladies are coming at you.

2. Ophthalmologists. Not because they are politically against us or have some imagined upper edge with their surgical prowess, but because they are working their rears off to be the best optometrists in town. Have you seen their opticals? Next thing you know, theyll actually understand vision. Thats scary.

3. EMRs. Not because it costs a bazillion dollars to integrate electronic medical records into your practice, but because EMRs are actually accurate. Dr. Bodie, back in the day, had some charts that had ONLY the patients name on themno other information. Kinda hard to be wrong, no matter what. Now, I gotta be right. What a pain.

4. Legislators. Not because they hold your career in the palms of their sweaty hands, but because they wear the worst glasses ever. I cringe when I go to the state legislature, which I do once or twice every time it is in session. It is extremely scary that this fellow, who can take away your right to practice, is reading that online contact lens bill through a $3 pair of glasses.

5. The Internet. Not because of the deluge of information about Rosie and The Donald (I NEED that!), but because it used to be that patients would come in and tell you that their cousin Larry had told them that they should stop taking their glaucoma medication. That was easy to argue with. I knew Larry. Its harder to argue with 7,435,682 sites run by doctors that tell patients they wont ever have eye problems if they just give their checking account number to this lawyer in Nigeria.

6. Assorted nuts. Not because that describes the people you work with, but because a large jar of assorted nuts on your desk causes more addiction than OxyContin. They just sit there. They watch you. They love you. You love them. You cant wait for the next handful. I cant chomp chomp chomp OK, Im back! And that urp brings us to the final, and most frightening issue in optometry:

7. YOU. Not because of the nut eating or Internet surfing, but because you are just FULL of FEAR, my colleague. You think somebody out there knows more about this profession than you do. Wrong. Heres the deal: Quit stressing and obsessing. Just pretend you have courage. After all, if pretending works on a machine gun nest, it may just work on a lens that keeps falling out of a pair of glasses.